Have you ever heard a song and listened to it over and over and over again because of how strongly it tugs at your every essence of being? Words with music mixed into a sound so perfect it makes the mind travel to uncharted territories. Running over you body like a warm spring breeze wrapping you up in sunlight, sun so bright it feels like your eyes will explode from all the light. And at the same time, like jumping in a frozen lake in the dead of winter, a sudden rush of energy taking your breath away in the frigid air. Something so moving you don't know how you lived this long without it.

Yes I'm still talking about a song, plain and simple in its function but somehow more. Something that will live with me forever. I have come across a handful of songs like this in my life and there is always the foresight of the proverbial "other side of the coin" always lurking on the fringes of my mind. The knowledge that after some point the songs becomes mundane. But even with that knowledge I open myself to the song. Let it become part of me, more than me. I let it invade all the recesses of who I am knowing full well of the pain that lies ahead.

Then it happens, I hear the song and those emotions are a distant star millions of light years away. Just as bright, just as powerful, just not here. The song has not changed only myself. The song is a balloon and somewhere along the way I forgot to hold onto the string and now its leaving me slowly, painfully, but leaving me regardless. I try not to accept this and continue to listen, forcing myself to "feel" but its not the same.

But this is not the end. No, over time I continue to listen out of habit or perhaps a subconscious desire to glean any small amount of emotion I may have hidden away. Then one day it happens The song has a new meaning. Like reading the memoirs of another person the song conveys new emotions and now plays anew. The contrasting of my original feelings with the bitter sweet understanding that this song now has an additional meaning brings me back.


Or something like that. . . . :)

Well I caved and bought another paintball gun, I swear its like legal crack! Unfortunately when I got the gun it was having firing issues, as in it wouldn't fire (shoot). Need less to say I was not thrilled having spent the amount of money I did.

So I did a complete strip down/rebuild. In one of the pieces (specifically the solenoid) there was what appeared to be a piece of shredded O-ring. I cleaned it all out and it is shooting now. Yay me! Hopefully I can make it to the field this weekend to put it through its paces.

From a perfectionist standpoint it is a bit dinged up from the previous owner (I forgot to mention I bought it used) but no more than I would have expected. This puts me up to five although I mainly use two and have two backups/loaners and one older gun that I need to rebuild.

That's the latest with me, I'll try to remember to post up how it turned out once I have tested it at the field.